My Story . I remember
the first time I ever got high .My dad was a reporter for a news
paper in Raleigh,N.C..He also had a hobby of being a rock hound.
one day he said we were going to a rock festival on the coming
weeking. He said the news paper wanted him to cover it and he was
going to take us with him and we could camp out at the rock
festival. I thought crap we going to go look at rocks all
weekend. But as it turned out when we got there it was nothing
that I had expected. there was people walking around naked,
motorcycles, plenty of tie died shirts, long haired guys and
uninhibided girls. My folks tried to keep me in the camper all
weekend, so I would'nt get into trouble, But I managed to sneek
off after a while. I went over to where the bands were playing.
There was a band came on the stage that blew off these smoke
bombs and when the smoke cleared they were all up there playing
naked.I saw for the first time there members of a motorcycle club
( the first name that comes to mind is the right one ) beet a guy
nearly to death over a cut off jean jacket that he was wearing. I
thought that sad , my daddy had gone to war and been shot in the
belly and was paralized from the waist down for two years
defending our right to wear, say, worship whatever we wanted to
and here were these bullies beeting this guy nearly to death for
what he was wearing. ( later on when I was grown they would do
the same to me for wearing my Phoenix M.C. cutoff.} anyway as it
was turning dark this band came on and the had a big screen
behind them that read "WELCOME DRUG ABUSERS" and the
whole side of that hill lit up. I wanted to be accepted by these
people. I admired their way of life, so when the joint came my
way I accepted it. I went from accepting that joint , at 11 years
old ,at love valley , to sitting alone in a bathroom with a
needle in my arm , praying to god that this shot would kill me,
and accepting that I was going to die because I could'nt stop.
After the drugs were gone I still thought I was going to die this
time . to ashamed to talk to anyone I knew but not wanting to die
alone I decided to call a 12 step hot line. to my suprise the guy
knew just what I was going through. I didn'nt make it to a
meeting that day but I decided I would go the next day. I
expected this to be some sorta class that was run by goodie
goodies who got their nut looking down their nose at people like
me. I had long hair and a pierced ear. I pictured an addict to
look like me. I usually used alone. When I had used with other
people they were allways parinoid they would say things like shh,
and then they would listen to the refrigerator run or some thing
for about an hour or so. It was a hot day in may I had on long
sleeved shirt to cover up the tracks on my arms I had'nt bathed
in about aweek or two I was very ashamed of myself. I walked into
the meeting and every body was up laughing and huging and
drinking coffee etc. . I looked around and I did'nt see anybody
with long hair and I was fixing to leave when this guy with long
red hair and sleeves of tatoos came in I said well hes an addict
so i'll stay. I sat down next to this guy and I asked him Whats
this shit all about man ? he said the neet thing I found is
"shh you hear that" ? I thought i can see where this
stuffs done you alot of good man. but then he said" thats
laughter , and they did'nt have to take anything to get it".
and I began to realize just how much my thoughts were centerd in
the get and useing and finding ways and means to get more drugs.
I sat there and listended and the guy with the long hair I don't
think he ever said anything. but everybody in that room seemed to
be telling my story when they talked and they were'nt useing
drugs and they were happpy today. And I wanted to be accepted by
them I admired their way of life so at the end of the meeting
someone said if you would like to try our way of life, if you
would like to come walk with us one day at a time come up and get
a white chip, I went up and got a white chip. It was'nt long
after that that I started Prospecting for the Phoenix M.C. a
motorcycle club that its membership comes from the people who
ride motorcycles in these rooms. I've had my ups and downs since
then but all conciderd I've not only got my life back , but today
it's also a quality life>
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